I trust the One who calms the waves: How a recent injury tested my faith and made me stronger

It’s scary to step out and do new, different things. I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s been hard, and that there are times when fear has gotten the better of me. I’ve openly struggled with my mental health in a way that’s been freaking me out a little lately, but I trust that things will get better the more I work toward what I’m supposed to do.

Because I live with a disability that affects my feet, I find myself dealing with issues with them all the time. If it’s not my feet, it’s my knees or my legs in some way. I haven’t been able to walk since an injury made me wheelchair bound on top of my disability.

I have minimal feeling in my legs and feet. Surprisingly, though, that makes the nerves that work in my legs and feet sensitive to any injury. In addition to being a disability blogger, I’m also an author. I’m waiting to hear about my debut novel from a developmental editor.

My mobility has struggled because of the injury, and it’s been tough for me to recognize that I’m exactly where God wants me to be in the moment. In June, while still dealing with an infected sore on my right foot, I hit my right big toe with the caster wheel of my chair. I panicked. I hated the idea of going to the doctor again, especially when I was already dealing with the infection.

The good side to it all?

I’m very fortunate, because I still live with my parents. This meant that my mother was able to tend to the wounded skin around my toe as my infection healed. But then, my knees flared up again. As a wheelchair user, I assumed it was just muscle pain. I use a manual wheelchair around our house and have to transfer myself to my bed, etc, so it’s par for the course.

I visited my doctor, who urged me to see a podiatrist for my toe, but I was stubborn. Eventually, I acquiesced to having X-rays done for some lingering issues with my knee. I was confident they wouldn’t find much, as doctors often dismissed my pain in the past because I’m in a wheelchair.

Finding answers I never expected

The X-rays revealed that my knee had been injured in the past. My kneecap was damaged and had scarred over. This was likely the source of much of my pain. I’d never even considered that this was possible. (Though I now suspect I know when it happened. )

I’m now on a regular regimen to manage the pain. It’s possible I could do PT. My recent experiences with this are usually therapists telling me I’m “attempting to do too much on my own”. They tell me I need mobility aids like a transfer board. I’m also looking into changing my bed.

What the pain taught me

Sometimes, God requires us to do things that are scary or painful. For me, this meant treating my injuries and removing my dead toenail. Now that it’s gone, I can heal and get back to work. But there’s also a level of pushing through the pain. In my bedridden recovery time, I was able to self-edit my novel. I sent it off to be developmentally edited last week.

Now I want to hear from you: How have you trusted God in the eye of your storms this week?