Let’s talk about disability & visibility

So, as we head into the end of 2024, I want to let my readers in on a conversation I had with a friend who is also disabled. I was trying to decide what my final blog of 2024 should be, and she brought up something I hadn’t even considered. There’s a serious issue with people with disabilities being given the opportunity to exist and take up space in the world.

Sometimes, all I want is to feel seen. That’s not to say that I don’t have people around me who do recognize what I try to do and give me support. I have an amazing community of family, church and online friends who recognize who I am and what I’m trying to do. But even my friend had totally missed the fact that I’d started a blog to promote my writing until I mentioned that I was planning what will probably be my final blog of the year today.

I’ve realized that people who don’t understand disabilities tend to try and relegate us to what they expect we should be. They don’t see us as having interests outside of our own challenges. When we do something, it’s often hailed as “amazing” simply because we’re doing it in spite of our disability. (Whether doing the thing is amazing or not is relative.)

I didn’t tell my friend about my blog because she already knows I write, and she knows I’m taking the steps to be published. I didn’t want to feel like I deserved an “atta-girl” or something for doing what I know is a piece of what I’m called to do by God. People sometimes only see what they wish to see.

If more people paid attention, maybe disabled people wouldn’t have to put up with “accessible” hotel rooms or other accomodations that do the bare minimum for someone with a disability to be able to thrive in that space. Maybe there wouldn’t be a need for showers with benches or seats that are made out of the same material as the tub, which might be too slick for a person with balance issues or a little extra weight to feel comfortable sitting on.

Maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about replacing the mattress in my grandmother’s guest bedroom so it’s level enough with my wheelchair for me to feel safe getting into bed on my own. Maybe we wouldn’t need an extra chair in a bathroom so I have leverage to transfer from my wheelchair to a toilet.

I wonder what it will take for people to see these things. Maybe this is just a vent blog, and that’s okay, but it might be the start of making somebody think a little bit differently. Until then, I’m grateful for the mobility I do have that makes things as easy for me as they are.

So let’s talk: What abilities and amenities do you take for granted, if you’re able bodied? If you’re disabled, what do you wish others knew that could help you? Lord willing, I’ll be back with a Christmas Eve post next week!