Nostalgia: Who I used to be vs. Who I am

What makes you feel nostalgic?

So, today’s writing prompt actually proves useful. As someone who struggles with disability, I long for days when I could go back to where I used to be vs. where I am now with my diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy.

By all accounts, I should be able to walk– I actually did walk with the assistance of a walker when I was younger. When I see someone running to get somewhere, I immediately wish I could still walk or run. Even in my walker, at least I had that freedom.

It’s not common for a person with Cerebral Palsy as mild as mine to lose their mobility. But I still remember the (silly) decision I made to run down a hallway at school that led to a trip and hyper-extending my right leg. I haven’t walked since. And sure, I’ve gotten used to the chair, but I still miss walking. I miss leaning on my walker when I got tired or running after my mom and dad for extra exercise.

While spending Christmas with my family in West Virginia this year, I fell and ended up spending the night on my grandmother’s linoleum living room floor because there was no way to get me up. We had no power, so I was kept warm by blankets spread on the floor in the form of a makeshift bed and a gas heater in her living room.

If I was still ambulatory, I might have been able to pull myself back up and walk in the house. Granted, it was extremely icy and snowy at my grandmother’s house. Nonetheless, I start this new year with gratitude that I have the things I do. Nostalgia isn’t everything, I realize. I am blessed to be where I am.

If I wasn’t in the chair, I might not have the blessings that I do now. I might not have been able to have the experiences I did. I realize that God does everything with a purpose. So even when it hurts and it’s hard, I remember that it could be worse.

Sometimes nostalgia can remind us of things to be thankful for, and that’s the beauty of remembrance that comes with Christmas and New Years’.

I’d love to know what makes you feel nostalgic, too!